Media Coverage:
Women's Monument from being erected
in a Sudbury Graveyard

 

"Never retreat, never explain, never apologize--get the thing done and let them howl."
~ Nellie McClung

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Has the world gone mad? Placing a monument to the women murdered by their husbands and 'lovers' in a cemetery indeed! The monument should be placed in front of the legislature, that bastion of male power which has as yet never addressed the underlying sickness of male chauvinism in our society.

Women’s monument deserves proper home

Editorial: Northern Life
May 12, 2004

The Coalition to End Violence Against Women has sent invitations for the June 8th unveiling of the monument to honour women who were victims of domestic violence.

After more than a decade of debate about the monument, city council recently approved a location in the Civic Cemetery on Second Avenue. It may be a good location, but it is not good enough.

The Sudbury Women’s Centre does not support the cemetery location. Its executive director, Rose Menard says, “It is shameful the Greater City of Sudbury council finds it fitting to honour women who have lost their lives to violence by recognizing it through a monument within a ‘graveyard.’

“It is further shameful that the Coalition to End Violence Against Women accepts the graveyard as a final resting place for a monument that was intended to honour the very women they serve. A monument placed in a graveyard is not a reflection of honour or an effective tool in the education of the issues surrounding domestic violence.”

The Sudbury Women’s Centre no longer has a representative on the coalition because their members feel this group, which includes two police officers and several representatives with ties to the Ministry of the Attorney General, does not represent all women.

Although it would be easy to say that a monument in a graveyard is better than no monument, we applaud Sudbury Women’s Centre for launching an eleventh hour campaign to have city council reconsider the site. For details visit: dawn.thot.net/graveyard.html.

This monument, like any civic monument, shouldn’t be hidden. It requires a more visible and central location.

Tom Davies Square, with a little bit of landscaping, is the most suitable for this and other civic memorials.

While Bell Park is a favoured location, it would be against the wishes of many citizens who say erecting monuments in this public space goes against the intent of the Bell legacy.

But there are other possibilities. For example, there is a beautiful public space along the waterfront just outside of the Bell Park entrance off Elizabeth Street that would make a good location for the monument. This area is a quite corner of the city where many come to enjoy solitude. It would be just as safe, if not more safe from vandals as the Second Avenue cemetery.

There are also numerous parkettes that could be upgraded for civic use such as the one at the corner of Paris and John Streets which is “the gateway” to the city.

The Coalition to End Violence Against Women have waited a long time. It should be willing to wait a little longer for a creative solution to this issue. And one that the Sudbury Women’s Centre, the group that originally lobbied for the monument in the first place, will approve.

 

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The following Editorial in the Sudbury Star, May 6, 2004
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A lasting memorial

Consensus choice of cemetery for domestic violence monument is reasonable

Our opinion

Editorial: Sudbury Star
May 6, 2004

 

Editorial - The location of a monument or memorial never seems to be an easy issue to resolve in Sudbury. Like the mining monument before it, a more recent project honouring women killed by their spouses — an unquestionably valuable project — has been weighted down by the issue of where to put it.

It’s taken 12 years, but the Sudbury Coalition to End Domestic Violence finally settled on the Civic Memorial Cemetery on Second Avenue as the location for the monument. The coalition, whose membership includes virtually every organization that deals with domestic violence — from police to social workers to health-care workers — views the cemetery as a quiet, respectful and contemplative location for the monument.

But the choice was not unanimous. Representatives from the Sudbury Women’s Centre have argued that a graveyard sends the wrong message to women, and have publicly withdrawn from the coalition. The monument should offer hope to buttress the indomitable spirit of women who suffer at the hands of abusive spouses, not remind women of the ultimate price paid by others, the Women’s Centre argues.

Good points, all. Perhaps a cemetery is not the best location. Perhaps there are other locations in Greater Sudbury more symbolically appropriate. But that shouldn’t be the most pressing concern. What’s important is that this monument is long overdue and that a lot of people have worked very hard to get it this far. In the end, the location of the memorial is less important than that it gets built, and that the many groups responsible for its creation have come to some sort of consensus about where it goes.

The coalition has done this. Formed 12 years ago with representation from 14 organizations that deal with domestic violence victims, the coalition initially considered three sites: in city parks, the Sudbury Courthouse and the Greater Sudbury Police Services headquarters.

However, the coalition became worried that the monument might be defaced or vandalized if it were placed in a high-profile, high-traffic area like a park. The mining monument that finally found a home in Bell Park was defaced about a month after it was erected.

The coalition finally reached a consensus on what it wanted the memorial to represent and where it wanted it located. With the help of a facilitator, the coalition agreed a cemetery was a fitting place for a memorial symbolizing three qualities — respect, serenity and peace. With the consent of city council in hand, the coalition is planning a June 8 unveiling of the monument.

Critics of the decision at the Sudbury Women’s Centre have suggested the coalition settled for the cemetery because city officials pushed for it, and accused coalition members of straying from their original purpose of ensuring the monument — as a symbol of the issue of domestic violence — is not placed out of sight.

The bickering that has ensued devalues the monument and its importance to the community. It was a dozen years ago that the idea first surfaced of erecting a monument to the more than 60 women in Sudbury killed by their intimate partners since 1914. It’s time to put the issue of domestic violence first.

What do you think? Send us your opinion in a Letter to the Editor at 33 MacKenzie St., Sudbury, P3C 4Y1, or fax it to 674-6834 or email it to letters@thesudburystar.com

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Erecting monument in a cemetery is an insult to victims, some say; others argue it’s a safe, respectful location

By Carol Mulligan
The Sudbury Star
Source URL

Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 11:00

Local News - The choice of a graveyard to locate a monument honouring women killed by their spouses or lovers is insulting to victims of domestic violence — both dead and alive, say two women’s activists.

But members of the coalition that chose location defend the site, saying it is quiet, respectful and less likely to attract vandals.

Barb Garon, co-ordinator of a group called Investing in Women’s Futures, is angry at both Greater Sudbury city council and the Sudbury Coalition to End Violence Against Women for deciding to erect the monument at Civic Memorial Cemetery.

“A monument placed in a graveyard is not a reflection of honour or an effective tool in the education of the issues surrounding domestic violence,” said Garon in a written statement. The document was co-signed by Rose Menard, executive director of the Sudbury Women’s Centre.

“A monument placed in a graveyard is an insult to those women searching to find the courage to leave violent relationships in order to affect a positive change in their ... lives.”

The women accuse city council of continuing “to place the issue of domestic violence out of sight” and the coalition with “swaying so far from their initial passion to have settled for a ‘plot’ instead of a park.”

It was a dozen years ago that the idea first surfaced of erecting a monument to the more than 60 women in Sudbury killed by their intimate partners since 1914.

The Sudbury Coalition to End Violence Against Women, which formed then, initially considered three sites in city parks.

The coalition is comprised of 14 or so representatives of organizations that deal with domestic violence victims, and included the Sudbury Women’s Centre until two years ago.

The centre withdrew from the coalition then, in a very public dispute — angry that the group was considering putting the monument at the Second Avenue cemetery rather than in a park or other public place.

Garon said it’s shameful that a coalition created to end violence against women “accepts the graveyard as a final resting place for a monument intended the honour the very women they serve.”

Mary Carter is the head of the domestic violence/sexual assault treatment program at Sudbury Regional Hospital and one of the original members of the coalition.

Carter and other coalition members appeared before Greater Sudbury Council last week to thank politicians for giving them a spot at the Minnow Lake graveyard for their memorial and to invite them to the monument’s June 8 unveiling.

At first her group wanted the memorial placed in a park or at the courthouse or police station, said Carter, but it reckoned that “these women didn’t get what they were looking for” at the courthouse or police headquarters.

The coalition also worried that the monument might be defaced or vandalized if it were placed in a park. A mining monument in Bell Park was defaced about a month after it was erected, Carter said.

The coalition finally reached a consensus on what it wanted the memorial to represent and where it wanted it located, said Carter.

With the help of a facilitator, the coalition agreed a cemetery was a fitting place for a memorial symbolizing three qualities — respect, serenity and peace.

The monument, which is about four feet wide and five feet high, will contain the faces of three women — one young, one middle-aged and one elderly.

When women are young, they seek respect; when they are middle-aged they are looking for serenity; and when they are elderly, they want peace, said Carter.

“This monument provides a visible and tangible, respectful” memorial to women who have died of domestic violence, as well as a reminder to the community as a whole about the need to address issues such as domestic violence.

Carter said she hopes it will be the first of several memorials honouring domestic violence victims in Sudbury, adding that it’s important to get it in place after a dozen years of debate.

The coalition concluded it was more important to have the monument erected than continue debating where it should go.

Carter challenged Garon’s suggestion that the coalition in any way buckled under pressure from council not to put the monument in a park.

“None of us bowed our heads to city council,” said Carter.

She said the women who sit on the coalition include “strong-minded” individuals from organizations such as the Crown attorney’s office, the Sudbury-Manitoulin Children’s Aid Society, the Ontario Province Police and the Sudbury and District Health Unit.

If Carter, a registered nurse, had thought placing the monument in a cemetery was at all disrespectful, she said she would never have agreed to the cemetery location.

Caroline Hallsworth, general manager of citizen and leisure services for the City of Greater Sudbury, called the cemetery an “appropriate, respectful environment” for the monument.

“Cemeteries are really changing,” said Hallsworth. “Today, they are green spaces. They are definitely not parks — there are no children’s play areas” — but they are “community gathering places where we can reflect and think of those who have gone before us.

“They are very respectful, very thoughtful, very contemplative.”

They also allow a more secure and quieter place for families and groups to hold services to honour individuals or even events such as the Montreal Massacre, said Hallsworth.

The monument is to be unveiled June 8 at 1 p.m. at a ceremony at Civic Memorial Cemetery.

It’s Carter’s fervent wish that, 50 years from now, when people read the text on the monument, they’ll ask themselves this question:

“Do you believe that existed in our society back then?”

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Response to the Sudbury Star article

Editor,

I take exception to the views of the Sudbury Coalition to End Violence Against Women as reported in Carol Mulligan's article, "Erecting monument in cemetery ... " 4/5/04. I am sure that Coalition member Carter is expressing her own personal views when she stereotypes the goals of women across the lifespan. As an older woman and a Crone to boot, I was appalled to learn that when "women are young, they seek respect; when they are middle-aged they are looking for serenity; and when they are elderly, they want peace." It's clear to me that Carter has no knowledge of the Raging Grannies, the Amazing Greys, the Gray Panthers, the Crones Counsel, the Purple Hats and all of the other older women's groups that are politically active and leaders in shaping public policy. Yes, yes, they want peace, but not the peace of the graveyard or the serenity of acceptance.

Many old women and I suspect young ones, too, want bread on the table, a roof over their heads for their children and families, enjoyment of their days in security and safety from violence, abuse and control imposed by men, be they fathers, brothers, partners, spouses or sons. What's more we also want to liberate those self-same men from the stereotypical expectations that they will be violent; that they should be violent; that violence is the way to be manly!! So long as we propose that our women as a social group should reflect sweetness, serenity and peace, while our men are lauded publicly on buildings, parks, airports and mountains for acts of violence, then we will indeed perpetuate a system that has seen 60 women murdered in Sudbury. Indeed, we will discover fifty years hence that the system prevails. Women who are marginalized in life; will remain at risk of violent demise. Men who are encouraged and rewarded for violence will continue to be violent.

I suggest that a monument to the fallen women be erected in front of City Hall where it is at far less risk of vandalism, than if it were tucked away in a cemetery. Let us celebrate women's lives on Main Street as opposed to their violent demise in the boneyard. Let us stand up and shout for all to hear that women's lives have meaning and let us insist on as public a remembrance as possible. Otherwise, what is the point??

Gail McCabe, SSW MA

233 Calumet College, York University
4700 Keele St. M3J 1P3
Academic Advisor
416-736-2100 ext. 22237

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OneWorld.ca

A monument to female victims of violence is scheduled to be unveiled June 8 in Sudbury, Ontario ... in a local graveyard. The memorial was conceived, the location chosen, by a coalition of women drawn from the
criminal justice and women's services sectors. City Council approved the plan last week. But now DisAbled Women's Network Ontario is joining a chorus of voices insisting that a cemetery may be the worst possible
resting place for the monument.

Story highlighted on these pages:

OneWorld.ca: http://www.oneworld.ca/article/archive/882
News: http://www.oneworld.ca/article/archive/3283
Canada News: http://www.oneworld.ca/article/archive/983
Editions: http://www.oneworld.ca/article/archive/2822

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May 05, 2004

To the Sudbury Community:

Re: Monument Location at Centre of Controversy
The Sudbury Star – May 04, 2004

Has anyone – besides the Sudbury Women’s Centre – asked victims of domestic violence how THEY might feel about the Monument location? Did I actually say that? How dare I think that our opinions might actually count?

One of the first things that comes to my mind is that we don’t really need a Monument to murdered women placed in a cemetery because the bodies of these women are already buried there. I would also have concerns about how the families of these victims might feel about having a Monument placed in a cemetery where their loved one’s killer might very well be buried.

The Sudbury Coalition to End Violence Against Women says that with the help of a facilitator, they decided that the cemetery was a fitting place for a memorial symbolizing Respect, Serenity, and Peace. I would like to have those things while I’m still alive. I would hope that such a Monument would be a show of solidarity, strength, and hope for a better future.

The Coalition also says that their group wanted the memorial placed in a park or at the Court house or police station but reckoned that “these women didn’t get what they were looking for” at the Court house or police headquarters. And, what would that be? Justice? Dignity? Respect? By placing the Monument in a graveyard, is that saying that they got what they were looking for? I suppose the violence really is completely ended in a cemetery, isn’t it?

Was the Sudbury Jail ever considered or were there concerns about offending the prisoners or infringing on some of their many rights? I haven’t heard much about vandalism going on at the Court house or Sudbury Jail. It has been quite rampant in cemeteries, though. And, as far as cemeteries becoming “community gathering places” there are a few places that come to my mind where I would rather hang out.

I suppose that nothing is going to change the situation at this point in time but you can be sure that there will be another memorial to honour this cause. Mary Carter said that she hopes it will be the first of several memorials honouring domestic violence victims in Sudbury. As someone who’s been there, I hope there will be only one final memorial necessary which would indicate that domestic violence has finally been eradicated in our community.

P. M. Russell
402-166 Louis Street
Sudbury, Ontario
P3B 2H3

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Subj: A response to your invitation
Date: 5/6/04 5:10:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Larry Weissmann
To: letters@thesudburystar.com

To the Editor,
The Sudbury Star,

Although I've submitted it earlier, and while I'm not a resident of Sudbury, here once again is the letter I sent you regarding the women's monument. But there are two important points to add as a result of today's editorial.

You write that "the location of the memorial is less important than that it gets built." Any memorial is automatically both symbolic and physical, and it's location has a huge amount of impact on what that symbolism is - what
the monument says as well as stands for.

You write as well in evident support of the coalition's position, of a fear that, in a more public place, the monument risks being defaced. If that is to happen the very possibility itself needs to be public, indeed invited, as further evidence of how the issue of domestic violence is treated. Women have their lives on the line every minute of every day, and yet - would you really spend more effort protecting a simple monument, than bettering those lives!

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE CITY COUNCIL OF SUDBURY

Horror, and an urgent wish to be blind, came with my seeing that your city plans to erect a monument to women, victims of domestic violence, in a graveyard.

For a dozen years and more with a food bank I served huge numbers of people, not a few of them continually throughout that whole time. And how often - often enough it no longer seemed unusual, who I served was a woman
come in with an obviously abusive partner. "Partner" (wonderful word), who'd tell her in undertones "don't take the extra - try to get me more meat!" "Partner," never talking to me, but always with coldness to her. And then I'd hear the voice, hesitant, barely audible: "Instead of the extra, the quart of fresh milk today, can we get more hot dogs?" Hear that, with the pale child scurrying around their feet in the food bank. And this of course just the most visible tip of the iceberg, so many more coming in alone, but plainly - even when my eyes were just novice - plainly in, or
trying to recover from, the effects of domestic abuse. Do you want numbers, statistics? I've never kept a tally, yet out of the thousands I know I've served, I could give a pretty fair estimate. But if it's numbers that are needed in the face of such blatant obscenity, then no one's bound to listen anyway.

And yet you would build a monument to these who endure so - in a graveyard. Do you know what that's saying to the memory of those who've died? It's saying - "here we welcome you." And do you know what it tells to those who aren't dead, yet? It's saying - "here you belong, out of everyday sight, and the only thing left above ground made of nothing but stone."

I don't live in your city of Sudbury, probably never will. But I do live in this world, and much as I wish I were blind so not to have read of this, cannot be blind. Nor do I think the decision to build such a monument in such a place was done with conscious intent (at least I hope it wasn't). But that decision does speak of at least a blindness, a wilful desire for blindness, to keep abuse out of sight so it need not be thought about.

Please, open your eyes, change your decision. Put the monument in front of your city hall, where it will serve as a testament of hope for change. Please, please, don't put it in a place that speaks only of the burial of hopes for more than half the population.

Larry Weissmann
Tweed, Ontario

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May 17, 2004

To the Editor;

I would like to ask the Coalition to End Violence Against Women as to what they were thinking when they chose this site? Have they even considered the amount of activity that this monument may generate. For the people that have loved ones resting at Civic Cemetery, how do you feel about having the monument there? As you place a love one to rest, what will happen if one of the groups involved decide they are going to have a demonstration there.. I would think that would not go over too well. Or has the Coalition already made arrangements as to how all that would go down should there be a funeral that day? I don't think that this was well thought out. In addition to poor planning, I think that a Coalition that was to represent women in this community would of asked the women and survivors first instead of forcing this down our throats. The Coalition is just another bully in the playground.

Kim Laberge
Sudbury
Marge Beaudette
Sudbury

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Northern Life - Wednesday May 19, 2004

Another view - Rachelle Philippe

It is appalling city council would even consider a graveyard an appropriate site for a monument. It is grotesque and disgraceful. I ask council to ensure a proper place be found for this monument. A park setting is so much more appropriate. Many women suffer in silence and it would be fitting the monument be placed in a setting where the laughter of children resonates.

Rachelle Philippe, Sudbury

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Northern Life - Wednesday May 19, 2004

Thank you for voicing concerns regarding the location of the women’s monument in the Northern Life editorial last Wednesday. The Coalition to End Violence Against Women has a long history as a forum for social action. Given our commitment to diversity, respect and dignity for all people, the monument project has given rise to many involved and thoughtful discussions.

The 15 women, representing their respective agencies, and who are members of the coalition, have contributed to this collective process. The monument dedication is the culmination of various perspectives and viewpoints.

We believe a Memorial Garden is a location that honours the values chosen by the coalition; values, which can best be described as respect, serenity and peace. We believe the monument is an “object” (that does not devalue it), and that it is up to the coalition and others in the community to “bring the monument to life” in order that we can all strive to eliminate violence against women.

This monument is not the end, but the beginning of tangible recognition for women in our community who have died from domestic violence.

We also support further recognition of this by additional park areas with perhaps a bench with a plaque, or maybe a cobblestone walkway specially named, or whatever other people wish to support. There are many ways to acknowledge these women in our community and in keeping with the desire for respect, serenity, and peace - the monument in the Memorial Garden is a good and suitable first step. In order to move forward a first step must be taken - and thus paves the way for the next step, and the next....

We believe there will never be consensus on what the best location would be. But we continue to believe that at every turn...the coalition and the community must work together on the issue of woman abuse in order to make this issue the focus of a collective commitment to eliminating violence from our daily lives.

We hope citizens will join us June 8 to commemorate these silenced women. E-mail us at cyf@on.aibn.com your name and address, and we will send you a copy of our information folder, which discusses the monument and its creation, the coalition, its goals and members, along with some statistical information on violence against women.

Gaëtane Pharand
Co-chair, Coalition to End Violence Against Women

Appropriate home - J.M. Belfry

I think a cemetery is a very appropriate place for this memorial. It is a place that allows people time for quiet reflection and remembrance. Making it a tourist attraction on a major road or a park belittles the reason for its existence. I think the opponents of this location have their own agenda.

J.M. Belfry, Cardiff

Cemetery ‘blessed ground’ - Bertholde Carter

The City of Greater Sudbury is to be admired for its support of the monument proposed by the coalition of agencies that works to prevent and stop violence against women.

Graveyards are socially and historically appropriate spaces set aside to honour the deceased of the community.

Generally speaking, cemeteries are considered to be blessed grounds by all societies.

Bertholde Carter

Nancy Cada (left) and
Linda Lees of the
White Cedar Singers
perform a song at a
monument
unveiling ceremony
in memory of women
who died
at the hands of an
intimate partner
at the
Civic Memorial Cemetery
in Sudbury
on Tuesday.