Final call for the Lesbians and Breast Cancer Project

If you are a lesbian who has experienced breast or gynecological cancer, we want
to talk with you!

We are gathering the stories of lesbians from across Ontario who have experienced breast or gynecological cancer. This research project is being done by lesbians for lesbians.

Your story - about your diagnosis and treatment, about the support you received and didn't, the ways
health care worked and didn't, what cancer has meant to you as a lesbian
will make a difference for other lesbians diagnosed with cancer.

We plan to interview lesbians of colour as well as white lesbians, older & younger lesbians,
lesbians with disabilities and other health issues as well as able-bodied lesbians, lesbians who
live in different parts of Ontario, & lesbians who are living on low-incomes.

Final call for the Lesbians and Breast Cancer Project (& early quotes from the study!)

With your help, the Lesbians and Breast Cancer Project Team has connected with 29 lesbians willing to tell their stories about breast and gynecological cancer. See below for early quotes from women we have interviewed so far.

This is our final recruitment call! Interviews with lesbians across Ontario who have had breast or gynecological cancer will be booked until July 15th, to take place in July and August.

Most women who call say they heard about the study from a friend. We want you to be our friend! PLEASE take a moment to pass this e-mail along to even one woman who might be interested, or someone who might know someone who could take part. (Thanks!)

Lesbians interested in being interviewed for the study can contact:

Pam James
Email: Pamela.james@tsrcc.on.ca
Tel: 416 351 3806

Calls are confidential, and you'll receive a small payment for taking part. Contact us to discuss childcare, travel or interview accessibility. Your story - about your diagnosis and treatment, about the support you received and didn't, the ways health care worked and didn't, what cancer has meant to you as a lesbian - will make a difference for other lesbians diagnosed with cancer. We are interviewing lesbians of colour as well as white lesbians, older & younger lesbians, lesbians with disabilities and other health issues as well as able-bodied lesbians, lesbians who live in different parts of Ontario, & lesbians who are living on low-incomes.

Over the summer we will prepare a report from the research. This report will include ideas for change in health and community services, and in lesbian communities, to make things better for lesbians with cancer. We'll send information about an early draft of the report in September.

Partner groups
The Lesbians and Breast Cancer Project

• The 519 Church Street Community Centre
• The DisAbled Women's Network (DAWN) Ontario
• The Coalition for Lesbian & Gay Rights in Ontario
• Gilda's Club
• The Metropolitan Community Church of Toronto
• The Rainbow Health Network
• Sherbourne Health Centre
• Sunnybrook & Women's College Health Sciences Centre - Social Work & Professional Advisory Committee
• Willow Breast Cancer Support & Resource Services

This project is made possible with the generous support of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, Ontario Chapter.

Quotes from the research:

Telling other people that you have cancer is like coming out, again. Even in this day and age people are still terrified of it. They think you are going to drop dead in a nasty, messy way in like six months to a year… So telling other lesbians that you have cancer is a very brave act.

The positive part about being a lesbian is, I had chosen family. I had a nice gang of female friends, fearless dyke female friends who would take shit off no one and who looked after me. Like [the hospital staff] didn't give me my hearing aid…

Your partner being of the same sex, does not allow you to avoid the fact that you've had a cancer that's sexuality-related… When I'm in her presence and we're being sexual, the fact that my body and her body are different in that way is always present.

What I found more difficult than anything, was fighting the system on stupid little issues like, 'could you be pregnant?' I don't know how many times I got asked that question. It's like, 'no, I'm a lesbian and I've been in a committed relationship for the last nine years, there's no possible way that I could be pregnant'. 'We don't believe you, pee in the cup.' I often want to walk away sometimes when I have those battles.

I did feel invisible as a cancer survivor, in the lesbian community. I think I felt like a hero. [laughs] And I'm not sure whether that was because I was a [professional] and I'm a leader and whatever... I think it also felt like I represented the fear of all lesbians, of getting breast cancer.

[My mother's] attitude changed towards Janis and my relationship because she saw how well Janis took care of me.

[The surgeon said], 'If breasts are important to you and your husband we can always do implants…' and he left. And I remember sitting there thinking, he forgot who I was - and he forgot who I was. And he left and I just thought, 'oh my God, I'm never going back to see that guy ever again.' Yet I have to go back - he's my only option in the city where I live. So I haven't done any follow-up…

Nobody really talked about sex. There's next to nothing out there about the effect of losing your breasts on your sexuality. Which made me think, 'what, no one plays with anyone's nipples anymore?'

When speaking with health professionals and dealing with doctors, there's a sense of always being one down. And when it resonates in terms of other experiences in life then ... it gets a bit more complicated. [I think about] my sort of working-class life compared to my life as a professional - it follows me and is with me and is part of who I am. It's always there, right, it's always a kind of like, 'do I deserve to be here?'

There's a weird prejudice amongst lesbians about implants… [there's a] judgmental bit, you know, somebody wants to be femmy, 'oh, well, they're just passing'.

I always struggled with, OK, so, how dykey can my hair go and still pass, still be acceptable, still be ... you know. Before I lost my hair, I clipped it short twice, and I would tell people, 'well yeah, this is so I'm preparing to lose my hair.' So it was the first time I could have a legitimate absolute dyke haircut. And so for me it was liberating.

I'm not sure whether I would say it was fine, I'm not sure whether I would say there was no homophobia. What I would say is, there was no glitches, there was no hiccups - I mean, there was political correctness. I mean they were very nice about it. But I will also still tell you, I felt extremely invisible. It's ... it's a sense that you're always alone.

Sitting in the waiting room, sitting in the examination room, being sort of invisible, I mean, it's all linked again to the lesbian thing. Our invisibility is mirrored in our partners', and often theirs is more so. [Groups for children and for partners] are available, but again, for the children in my life, for my partner, they weren't things that were very useful. They weren't things that were open, it didn't feel like an open door was there ... Because then they'd have to explain who I am to this group of people. So do they really want to deal with their sadness and grief and have to explain all that? No, they don't.

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Page last updated June 29, 2003