Nancy's Eulogy Nancy Eileen Tutty Morrison Delivered by Horst and Keitha Baer Friends and Neighbours of Nancy and Brian Opening Thoughts Horst and I are honoured to have the opportunity to say a few words in this celebration of our dear friend Nancy Morrison’s life and feel privileged to have gotten to know her family better during this last week. It has been a difficult time for her family and friends as they gave her their support on this final journey which she had to make, ultimately, on her own. But last night we overheard Brian speaking to one of his sons, when he said “you know your mother son, and the sort of person she was. She would want you to be happy”. So at this time, we feel laughter as well as tears are surely appropriate on this occasion. Who was Nancy? Nancy was many things to her family and friends. When Nancy walked into a room, she lit it up. If the lights weren’t on, she turned them on. She was a presence. She was loving, vibrant, humorous, exuberant. She was honest, straight shooting and she honoured her promises. She was a romantic, as well as an entrepreneurial spirit. She was gritty and tenacious. She had a zest for life. And as we saw, at the end of her life, she was incredibly courageous. To her Mother, Marjorie, she was ‘Nancy Eileen Alannah’ (which was her Irish Grandmother’s pet name for her, meaning Nancy my love). To her Dad, Chuck, she was ‘My little girl who called me Daddy’. To her sister, Katy, she was ‘A bright shining star’. To her brother, Stuart, she was a calming influence when most needed. To her brother, Andrew, she was ‘One of my Mothers’. To her special son, Matthew B., she was "Lovey". To her son, Johnathan, she was always on his team. To her son, Matthew J., she was the one who was always there for him. To her husband Brian, she was a friend, wife, lover, business partner; a true constant in his life. During the week that we spent with Nancy’s family, they often quoted phrases from a poem that went like this: Be good my child, And let those who will, be clever Do noble deeds, not dream them all day long, And so make life, death and the great forever, One grand sweet song. Well, Nancy did go out in the world and she did touch other people with her noble deeds. Her Early Years Nancy was born Nancy Eileen, the second daughter to Marjorie and Charles Tutty in St. Thomas, Ontario on March 4, 1953. The family was often on the move, as was usual for military families, and thus Nancy saw a lot of the country. The family moved to Regina when Nancy was 3 years old. Then it was on to Jarvis, Ontario at age 4, back to St. Thomas to start school and off to Winnipeg, Manitoba at age 7. When Nancy was 9 the family had a military transfer to W. Germany where she completed grades 4, 5 and 6. The family returned to Canada, settled in Calgary and Nancy completed grades 7, 8 and 9 at Curry Jr. High and matriculated from St. Mary’s Girls School in 1971. Nancy held a number of jobs while attending High School, working in a variety shop and even working for her Mom as a cashier at the Allwest Food Mart. She was conscientious, well liked and did a good job. Nancy worked as a Teacher’s Aid at Bishop Carroll School after graduation and then became a legal secretary in a law office in Calgary. Marjorie Tutty shared some remembrances of her family’s early years when her children would walk, always in a pecking order, like little ducks, from the oldest to youngest. First Katy, then Nancy, Stuart and Andrew. Nancy grew to appreciate her brothers, as she grew older. But she and her sister Katy were always fast friends and were known to their schoolmates as the “Tutty sisters”. One tall, a string bean, the other shorter and somewhat stouter. They took dance lessons together and just before the night of the big dance recital, Nancy fell and broke her collar bone. Like a trooper, Nancy donned her little Dutch costume and danced with a sling on her arm. Marjorie remembers the help Nancy was to her, making supper and doing chores, when Chuck was away on extended assignment with the military and Marjorie was working. And she remembers the cold, blustery winter walk with Nancy and Katy when she wrapped the 2 girls in either side of her coat after Nancy told her “Mommy, the wind is blowing my face off”. Nancy was taught to read by her Mom and became a voracious reader, thanks to the example that had been set for her by her Mom. She loved to swim and was always the first to follow Dad into the cold waters of the mountain lakes that the family would visit on holidays. Nancy had a beautiful singing voice and sang in the church choir as a girl. She was a songbird who would break into song anytime a phrase struck her that caught her imagination, linking arms with her sister, or a friend, encouraging them to chime in. According to her sister, Kathleen, Nancy always made a statement with both her demeanor and attire. She never did anything in half measures, it was all or nothing. We all remember her Elton John style eyeglasses that were a fashion statement as well as a visual aid, the mass of rings on her fingers (silver on the right and gold on the left), the larger-than-life earrings and her trendy hair styles. She wasn’t ostentatious, she was just making a statement that she was Nancy! Nancy established her own identity early in life when one day she came home and announced: “Guess what Dad? I’ve joined the Navy!” She had never been much into sports, but she did her 10 mile run at boot camp for basic training, exhibiting early on her tenacity and grit in difficult situations. The Corporal finally said to her: “You’ll never make it in the military, because you always ask ‘why’”. However, it was Nancy’s insistence in always asking ‘why’ that made her the successful and compassionate individual she was. Her Dad, in an effort to help his daughter out, asked the assigning officer to not put her in a position where she needed to use a lot of math. “She’s a great legal secretary, but she doesn’t like math” were his words. In its inexplicable wisdom, the Navy of course made Nancy an operations plotter, in charge of plotting courses and the like. Her point on math was made when on a couple of occasions the ship found itself slightly off course. Her Sons Nancy married and was stationed in Germany for 8 years (Not spoken: Married Michael McNeil March 9, 1974). During that time, her sons Johnathan Andrew McNeil and Matthew Jeremiah McNeil were both born in Lahr, Germany. Nancy referred to Johnathan as her perfect child: he was always content to play quietly by himself with whatever she gave him. Matthew was not such an easy child, as he had a will to go his own way, but he was just as dear to Nancy as Johnathan was. Matthew’s memory of his Mom’s special words of encouragement to him when he was distressed as a youngster were: “Don’t worry about it; you’re the Man”. Life With Brian Nancy met Brian while he was managing the Cannex store in Cornwallis where he hired Nancy as Editor of the Base Newspaper. With Brian, she found her soul mate for life. They were married in Halifax on April 8, 1985. Nancy had trained and was working as a Medical Transcriptionist at the time. They moved to Oromocto, New Brunswick and transferred to Calgary in the spring of 1988. When Nancy married Brian she inherited a new son, Matthew B. who was a loving addition to her family. He came out to Calgary from Cape Breton to visit on several summer holidays. Brian retired as a Captain in the military, and he and Nancy launched their entrepreneurial business career with the purchase of a Jeffrey’s Meat Shop. When Jeffrey’s was taken over by M&M Meats, Nancy and Brian acquired three M&M shops before buying their Sunset Alpine printing and embroidery business in Banff. Living with Brian boosted Nancy’s self esteem. She often said that Brian allowed her to be the person she was capable of being. When Nancy first met Brian she couldn’t balance her bankbook. But with Brian’s gentle encouragement she not only balanced her personal bank book, but continued to develop her skills to the point that Brian relied on her to handle the books for their business ventures. Nancy and Brian had a special relationship. They backed each other in all circumstances. And they were the quintessential business partners. Nancy referred to Brian as the quiet brains behind the scene, while she was the upfront partner who greeted customers with a friendly smile and genuine interest. She had a knack for chatting to total strangers and finding a point of common ground – a place, a person, an event. Nancy was a true people-person who stayed in touch with the special people she came in contact with throughout her life. Nancy’s Deeds/Traits Nancy showed genuine concern for others. This trait was exhibited early in her life when her older sister Katy and then her brother Andrew gradually developed sight impairment. She readily accepted the baton to lead the pack from her sister who had been the chief instigator of mischief with her siblings until then. When her friends needed her, Nancy was there for them. She stood as trustee for her friend Florence’s father while he was in a nursing home, and her friend was living out of province. Nancy had never done anything like that before, but she dug in and talked to lawyers, accountants and government advisors until she understood the job thoroughly and could effectively help her friend. Nancy was always the voice for the underdog. She was a union representative for the Hospital transcriptionists and stood up for those in her profession who needed a strong voice to ensure their side of the story was told. Of course as her next door neighbours at the time, we always feared that some irate strike breaker might get his addresses mixed up and drop a brick or stick of dynamite through our front window. We were thankful she left the union before such an occasion ever arose. Nancy had exceptional organizational skills. Things got done around Nancy. If something needed doing, Nancy had anticipated it and it was already handled. One of her favourite phrases was: Pitter, patter, let’s get at her! A case in point - two years before the event of her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, Nancy called her sister Kate and started off with: “I was thinking that we should all get Mom and Dad some pieces of Waterford crystal. What do you think?” And the two of them were off to the races making plans that included obtaining congratulatory letters from the Pope and the Prime Minister. Mercifully, they left out the Provincial Premier fearing that could give their Mom apoplexy as she had no use for his politics. On another occasion, the sisters spent 8 months of hard effort organizing a long awaited high school reunion. In later years, she developed additional recreational interests, most of them designed to spend more time with Brian. She became active in the local Street Rod Association, took up golf, and even did a bit of camping….although her idea of roughing it was more along the lines of finding a warm Motor Inn with a jacuzzi tub. Nancy was beautiful on the outside, as well as on the inside. She became a model for the Patty Falconer Modeling Agency and was selected as an extra in the made-in-Calgary drama series “Viper”. Honestly, the reason for the series’ cancellation after one season wasn’t her doing. Nancy’s Last Thoughts For Us While Nancy fought a courageous battle at the Tom Baker Centre with Brian at her side, she shared some of her last thoughts with him. She said throughout her life she met wonderful people who have touched her along the way, and she hopes she has done the same. Nancy considered her time here to be like a ripple on the pond. It starts small, stays simple and true to form, looks beautiful when it touches shore, but is too soon gone. Nancy’s last wish for her family and friends was to “live life strong”. Closing Thoughts We were so fortunate to have had Nancy in our lives. Collectively we will miss her a great deal for what she meant to us individually and we thank her for the way she enriched our lives by her presence. We take comfort in the thought that if we live our lives honestly and well, as she did, that we will see her again, when we come to the end of our own journeys.