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YOU
DESERVE TO BE SAFE
A Guide For Girls With Disabilities
This
resource guide was produced by DisAbled Women's Network (DAWN) Ontario
Written by
Lorna Renooy
Copyright 2002 DisAbled Women's Network Ontario
Plain language by Precise Communications
DAWN Ontario gratefully acknowledges funding received from the Disabled
Persons Participation Program, Human Resources Development Canada,
and the Violence Prevention Fund at the Canadian Women's Foundation.
The support
and advice of Robyn Artemis, Penny Baltzer, Lucy Costa-Nyman,
Jo-Ann Fortin, Pat Israel, Fran Odette, Doris Rajan Eastcott, Amy
Rusak, Nicole Soucy, and Kristen Spring is greatly appreciated.
About
This Resource Guide
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If you are a
girl with a disability, this guide is for you.
DAWN Ontario
produced this guide to talk about the specific problems of violence
and abuse that you may experience. We spoke with some girls with
disabilities about their concerns. Much of what we heard has helped
us develop this guide.
When we talk
about girls with disabilities, we include many different types of
disability. They can be a mobility, visual, or hearing disability.
They can also be a facial disfigurement, or communication, learning,
psychiatric or developmental disability. Some girls may also have
hidden disabilities such as a chronic illness, diabetes, epilepsy
or environmental illness.
"There
are only two people in my school who have a physical disability,
and I'm one of them. I have problems when I try to use my wheelchair
in the crowded hallways. People give me a hard time and say that
I'm in the way."
Negative
attitudes in society about disability make it more likely that girls
with disabilities will experience violence and abuse.
"My mother
is always coming down on me real hard because of my disability.
She tells me how stupid and slow I am, and she threatens to physically
hurt me. The abuse is scariest when it comes from someone you know
and love."
In many cases,
girls with disabilities do not experience violence and abusive behaviour
from strangers, but from people they know and trust.
"This guy
at my work kept bugging me to be his girlfriend. I guess he thought
I was an easy target because I have cerebral palsy."
Like all
women, girls with disabilities experience sexual harassment and
assault. (1)
Violence
And Abuse Can Happen In Many Different Ways
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Physical
Abuse causes hurt or injury to the body. Examples of
this are hitting, kicking or shaking someone, using too much physical
force as punishment, or rough handling. It can also mean taking
away something that a girl with a disability may need, such as a
white cane, dog guide or bliss board.
Sexual
assault
happens
when someone forces another person into any sexual activity. This
includes forced sex (intercourse), touching the private areas (genitals)
of a girl with a disability without her permission, forcing her
to kiss, or not respecting her privacy or space. Also, the girl
may be forced to touch her abuser's genitals.
Verbal
abuse
is using words to hurt another person and to destroy her self-esteem.
Some examples of verbal abuse are: swearing at a girl with a disability,
telling her she is not a good person, dwelling on her mistakes,
or calling her names that make her feel terrible.
Emotional
or psychological abuse are actions that negatively affect
the self-esteem or self-image of a girl with a disability. This
can be ignoring her, constantly disapproving of things she says
or does, or making her feel that she is "not good enough".
Emotional or psychological abuse can also mean taking away, or threatening
to take away, something which the girl values, if she does not co-operate.
Neglect
is depriving a disabled girl of her basic needs and human rights.
For example, if she needs help to bathe regularly, but does not
get this help, this is neglect. She many not have enough food to
eat, or she may be left alone for a long time.
Various types
of abuse can, and often do, occur together. For example, a girl
with a disability may experience physical and verbal abuse.
(2)
Violence and
abuse can happen when someone has power and control over a girl
with a disability. You experience empowerment when you make your
own choices or decisions.
Why Does The Abuse Happen?
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Because of society's
lack of understanding, many people may think that girls with disabilities
do not experience violence and abuse. Also, some people may think
that disabled people are not sexual or that no one would ever want
to harm a girl with a disability. Such assumptions are not true.
Over two thirds of women with disabilities have been physically
or sexually assaulted as children. (3)
One young woman
with a disability spoke about the "pain of trying to be accepted".
One girl told us her friend said he "couldn't live like her".
Another girl said she experienced pressure from her family to be
more "normal". Comments and attitudes like these can cause
girls with disabilities to have a poor self-image. They many also
feel helpless to change anything, or that they are not worthy of
all the good things life has to offer. These feelings can make it
more difficult to speak out against the violence.
Girls and young
women with disabilities experience higher rates of violence than
non-disabled girls of the same ages. Several factors, in addition
to those already discussed, can contribute to this.]
- Disabled
girls may have many caregivers in their lives. The more people
who are providing services for them, the more likely they are
to experience abuse or violent actions against them.
- Power and
authority is often used to punish girls with disabilities or control
their behaviour.
- Girls with
disabilities who complain about abuse or violence many note be
believed.
- Some girls
with disabilities who have experience violence are frightened.
They fear that they will be separated from their families, or
that they will lose need services.
- Due to limited
sex education and isolation, some young girls with disabilities
may not understand what is happening to them in an abusive situation.
They may not recognize it as abuse.
- Girls with
disabilities may be isolated. They may not know where to go for
help, who to talk to or what to do if they experience violence.
Where does
violence and abuse happen?
The girls we spoke with named many places where violent or abusive
situations can happen. These included home, school, institutional
settings (including a group home), the doctor's office, a workplace,
or at bus shelters and taxi stands. Abuse can also happen while
riding in a bus or taxi. Abuse can happen anywhere.
Who abuses
young women with disabilities?
Family members or relatives, caregivers, doctors, friends, foster
parents, neighbours, teachers or strangers were some of the abusers
the girls mentioned. Anyone can abuse young women with disabilities.
When does
violence happen?
Violence and abuse can take place at anytime. One young woman said
it can be scariest at night when you are alone, or when the abuse
is from someone you know and love.
How are young
women with disabilities affected by violence and abuse?
The experience of abuse can affect young women in different ways.
How one girl deals with it will vary from another.
Disabled girls
who experience violence and abuse may feel much shame, guilt and
self-hatred. They may have difficulty forming healthy relationships
and knowing who to trust. They may experience depression or severe
headaches, develop eating disorders or have difficulty concentrating.
They may begin to drink alcohol or use drugs when they feel sad
or when they don't want to remember things. Sometimes violence and
abuse can worsen a disability, or even cause one.
You Deserve
to be Safe
Violence and abuse are social problems. In a society that devalues
women and disability, girls with disabilities experience violence,
discrimination and prejudice daily.
You need to
know what to do to prevent violence and abuse from happening
to you.
- Trust your
instincts if you feel uncomfortable in a situation.
- Say no
very assertively and express your feelings.
- Realize
that you may not be able to confront a difficult situation alone.
It is important to have friends to support you.
- Leave the
situation if possible.
- Know where
to go and who to call for help.
- Talk to
others who you can trust.
- Take a self-defence
course.
- Remember
that you are not powerless.
Girls with disabilities
who have experienced violence need to be believed when they
tell their stories. If you have experience violence, you are not
alone.
You
are not to blame.
No
one deserves abuse.
You
are a special person.
You
deserve to be safe.
What can be done?
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Talk to others.
Let people know that this is a problem we cannot overlook.
If a young friend
experiences violence, be ready with information about where she
can get help when she is ready. Develop a community resource list
for you area. Helpful resources to include are:
The Kids
Help Phone
1-800-668-6868,
free anywhere in Canada
Planned Parenthood
Information
about sexual and reproductive health topics
1-800-INFO-SEX (463-6739)
S.O.S. Femmes
1-800-387-8603,
ligne telephonique d'urgence en francais
Distress
and Crisis Lines
Youth and
Family Counselling Services
School Counsellors
Child and
Youth Centres or Women's Centres
Rape Crisis
Centres
Police
911
for TTY and Voice in most of Ontario
Shelters
or Transition Houses
Hospitals
Children's
Aid Society
Stopping the
violence against girls with disabilities involves the home, school
and community. Everyone should work together to end the problems
of violence and abuse in the lives of girls with disabilities. We
need to speak out about the violence, increase awareness and work
for change.
For
Counsellors, Teachers and Service Providers
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Violence against
women and girls with disabilities is a reality that we cannot ignore.
Education is needed to develop a greater awareness about these issues.
In order to
stop the violence we need to change social attitudes about women
and disability, and to change the inequalities that exist. Negative
attitudes toward women and disability can be harmful to a disabled
girl's self-esteem. We can reinforce positive self-esteem by helping
a girl with a disability to identify the things that make her feel
good or what she likes about herself. People who have positive self-esteem
are able to cope and manage problems in a different, and sometimes
better way. Disabled girls who have high self-esteem may be less
vulnerable to abuse.
Girls with disabilities
need to know what to do to prevent violence and abuse from happening
to them. They can learn how to form healthy relationships, enjoy
healthy sexuality, and recognize different forms of violence.
Use this guide
alone or with "You Deserve
to Be Safe: An Education Video" to encourage discussion
among students, teachers, health care and social service providers,
police and caregivers. Please note that discussions about violence
and abuse can often trigger strong emotions in people. We
suggest that female counsellors be available at video screenings.
Sources
1.
Information adapted from Violence Against Women and Children with
Disabilities Myth List by J. Bacon and F. Odette, 1994
2. Information
adapted from Strengthening the Links-Stopping the Violence by Leanne
Cusitar, a publication of DAWN Toronto, 1994 and Stop the Abuse:
a prevention handbook written by youth with disabilities, a publication
of the Canadian Association of Independent Living Centres, 1994
3. Information taken from Violence
Against Women with Disabilities, DAWN Toronto Fact Sheet
Order Form
To order copies
of "You Deserve to Be Safe: An Education Video"
and the "You Deserve to Be Safe: A Guide for Girls with
Disabilities" follow this
link.
Contact us
Disabled?
Sexually Assaulted?
Need Help? Sexual Assault and Women With Disabilities
Read
the brochure online
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This
page was updated in May 23, 2002
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